


No homo, Dudebro

by AmazonX



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Lost in the Woods, Tony just go to sleep, this is what worries men in the new age?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazonX/pseuds/AmazonX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team is stuck bedding down together and Tony wants to play at having issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No homo, Dudebro

**Author's Note:**

> Someone posted a quote on Tumblr about Tony teasing Steve about "no homo" and Steve says something about being so worried about being taken for gay that it's a wonder they have any sex at all. I prefer my Steve not body conscious, having grown up in the Roaring 20's and Dirty 30's and learned plenty "at Bucky's knee" when they would go and peep in the window of a whore house, or sneak into a gin joint to watch the jazz bands. Doesn't mean he wouldn't do the right thing, but he's not ignorant. I have the most awesome beta, Emyrldlady, and if there's still a mistake in there, I made it after getting it back from her. ;)

“This can’t be real,” Tony said, looking at the meager two cots and two double sleeping pallets.

“Guys, I’m going to claim one of the cots, OK? If I wake up and Thor is on top of me, things could get…ugly.” Bruce shrugged and tried not to look as pensive as he felt.

“Aye, Banner, I agree. I am weary and do not wish to battle the Other One this night.”

“I’m not sleeping with any one of you,” Natasha said, sitting on the other cot, sliding fully clothed under the blanket. It had been a bitter fight, but a secret fight, deep in a forest of Latveria and extraction wasn’t coming until the morning. They found a cabin, but it had been abandoned decades ago. It was cold, but there were a few blankets. They couldn’t light a fire, because they’d be found. 

So, Steve had figured they’d bed down, try and share some body heat and try and make it through the night. He’d done it with Bucky when they were kids in the orphanage, in their apartments in Brooklyn in the winter when Steve had one of his many illnesses, and in the field in Europe and it wasn’t a big deal. Its life, and it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Tash, come one, you wouldn’t want to…” Clint began, making puppy dog eyes at his partner.

“No, I wouldn’t,” she said, rolling to face away from Clint.

“We’ve done it before…”

“Only to keep you from freezing to death. Cold doesn’t bother me. Shut it.”

Clint shrugged and lay beside Thor, who was already snoring loudly. Tony was the last man standing. Steve had ignored what everyone was saying, had quietly stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and was pulling the pallet blanket over his shoulder. He hated sleeping in his uniform, because the Kevlar and composite panels weren’t conducive to a decent night’s sleep.

“Stark, you better get to bed soon, cuz if I’m asleep and you wake me up, I’m not gonna be happy.”

“Hey, I’m just working myself into it.”

“Get in bed!”

Clint snickered in the back of the room. Tony took his time, but just pulled his pants off. He was grateful he’d worn boxer briefs under the cotton suit he wore inside the armor for comfort. Then he whispered, “Lights out out, JARVIS.” The suit’s outer lights, which had given the hut a low level of illumination, went dark. For just a moment, he missed the glow of his arc reactor. He walked quietly to the pallet where Steve was a huge lump and carefully tried to slide under the blanket. He settled on his side, but realized it wasn’t the right side for him to sleep on. He usually slept on his other side, and not thinking, he rolled over, his usual bed in mind and rolled right into Steve’s back.

“Oh, hey, sorry, Steve, you know, no homo,” he said, quickly, then tried to move back as far as he could.

Steve sighed heavily. “You people, you’re so worried about everyone thinking you’re homosexual, it’s a wonder you have any sex at all.”

Tony was struck silent, and let the statement go. He’d thought Rogers was the most vanilla and conservative of all of them. And here he goes and says something like that. Well, Tony wasn’t going to let that go by unaddressed.

“Is that right? Well, I guess none of those USO showgirls complained, huh?”

“Nope, the guys in the crew neither.”

Tony stopped at that, and Clint fought to stifle his laughter. There was silence under Thor’s heavy snoring.

“But, uh, no homo, Dudebro, right Tony?” Steve said. 

“Uh, yeah.” Tony let it go, and tried to sleep.


End file.
